You have to be a left-leaning loser or a right-swinging d^*k.


Ben Human
2 min readJun 18, 2022


Photo by Paulo Costa on Unsplash

I am blessed, or cursed, with a real affinity for seeing both sides of the story.

All sides, really.

It’s not for everyone.

It’s damn hard work, and the rewards are slim.

You have to have at least a passing familiarity with intellectual honesty.

You have to be tough, when you’re not.

It won’t leave you alone.

I believe it’s a calling.

I can see everyone’s point.

I see your point. And I see mine. I see everyone’s point.

It puts me in two minds at once, or more.

A natural philosopher, a passable lawyer, and a poor businessman.

I have the head for an opportunity, but not the heart to put the boot in.

My heart is in the right place, but my head is screwed on wrong.

I’m supposed to know who’s right and who’s wrong, but I don’t think anyone is either of those things.

You won’t like me

Oh, I have opinions. Until the next one comes along.

If possible, I’ll hold both.

I’m offended by unshakable views. They seem shallow to me. Convenient.

An agenda to do for someone, as plain as the nose on your face.

There’s a strong chance we’ll disagree. You’ll use your power. And you’ll prevail, out of strength of conviction, fuelled by horseshit.

I won’t care. I will stand on contrarian principle, mock your hastily-assembled, unfounded, pandering view.

Hand you your denuded heart.

It’s because I love you.

Say I work for you.

Say I believe in you.

Or we met on a train, drinking.

I see the truth in you.

I won’t let it go.

But you can beat me every time.